You really coming over, don't trick.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
