Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
