new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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