We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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