My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
