fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
