i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dick very happy bro
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
