just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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