For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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