you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
