I wish my penis had an off switch
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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