when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
