you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
