I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
