but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
