i need an iv and a liver transplant
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
porn star boner night. come get it.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
That was an excessively violent trivia night
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
