To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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