Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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