I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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