It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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