I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Pants are for mortals
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
