does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
