She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
