i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
