Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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