sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
