I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
