I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
