Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
