Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
