you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
