Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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