so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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