dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Porn is love you can see.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
