somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
