Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
