Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
