and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
