Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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