i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
