Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
