we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
