OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
