She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Is it penis luge time yet?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
