Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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