Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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