Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
