Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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