Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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