i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
