tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Its about making memories worth repressing
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
