Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
